This will be my last BLOG for a while. I am feeling “burned out”. I have had a busy 6 months and a hectic spring and now it is time for Dr. Bill to look after Bill.

I have noticed the signs and symptoms. I have been tired, grumpy, forgetful, feeling like I am doing more and more yet accomplishing less and less, not feeling excited about my projects, groups and seeing people. OK, that could be a sign of age, I hear my “friends” say; but I know the real thing is that the old tank is empty and needs to be replenished.

So I am going to take a break for a few weeks. Don’t worry … I will be back!!

I MIGHT be tempted to make comment if Harry Potter dies!!!

I am sharing this with everyone because I think ALL of us need to take stock of where we are in our lives and listen to the quiet messages that body, mind and spirit sometimes whispers and often shouts at us. It invites us to take time for ME. It is a good message and one we need to pay attention to.

So let’s keep in touch … we have a few new things that will be on the web site soon, and I am looking forward to about mid August of being back BLOGGING again.

Have a good summer, and take care of yourself, and I will too.

Dr Bill.

Thought for the Day:
“You don’t run the universe, so you can’t remove all risk from it; but neither are you just a helpless pawn of fate. You may not be able to determine what happens, but you can decide what you are going to DO about what happens. The truly brave person is the one who keeps going in spite of being terrified.”

When a loved one dies, you often don’t experience the grief of loss just once. You’re likely to relive your grief on special days throughout the year, such as a birthday, holidays or one of many special occasions.

Some reminders are almost inevitable, especially during the first year after a death. That’s when you’ll face a lot of “firsts” — the first holiday after your sister died, for example. The first Mother’s Day after losing your mom. The first anniversary of a national tragedy. The first wedding, the first family get together. There are countless “first’s” during the first year of grief, and all of them come as a reminder of what we have lost and another opportunity to grieve.

Your reactions to these firsts might be intense, but the good news is you’ll probably find it easier to cope with subsequent anniversary dates as years pass.

The return of these feelings of grief is not necessarily a setback in the grieving process. It’s a reflection that the lives of others were important to you, and that you grieve their loss. Learning more about what to expect and how to cope with reminders of your loss can help make the grieving process a healthy, healing one.

Reminders aren’t just tied to the calendar, though. They can be anywhere — in sights, sounds and smells, in the news or on television programs. And they can ambush you, suddenly flooding you with emotions when you drive by the restaurant your wife loved or when you hear a song your friend liked so much.

Here are several ways to cope with reminders of loss and to continue the healing process:
• Be reassured that anniversary reactions are normal and that their intensity will diminish in time.
• Reminisce about your relationship with the person who died. Try to focus on the good things about the relationship and the time you had together, rather than the loss.
• Plan a distraction, such as a weekend away or a visit with friends or relatives.
• If you find yourself becoming more anxious, sad or distressed by news coverage, limit your exposure to news reports about tragic events.
• Draw family members and friends close to you, rather than avoiding them. Find someone who will encourage you to talk about your loss. Stay connected to your usual support systems, such as spiritual leaders and social groups.
• Allow yourself to feel sadness and a sense of loss. Conversely, allow yourself to also experience joy and happiness as you celebrate special times. In fact, you might find yourself both laughing and crying.

Dr Bill

Thought for the Day:
“Promises may GET friends, but it is performance that KEEPS them.”

Here’s a thought for you:

A man had two dogs. One dog was called ANGER and he lived up to his reputation, often being mean and scaring the people who came near. The other dog was called ACCEPTANCE, and he had a much nicer demeanour and everyone liked this one better. But they were constantly fighting each other. The man tried to keep them apart in different parts of his property.

One day one of the dogs died. The other lived.

Can you guess which one lived and which one died?

The answer is: the one who lived was the one that the owner constantly FED.

We have a choice every day which side of our nature to FEED. Sometimes we fuel anger and bitterness, resentment and aggression. Other times we sustain ourselves by faith and forgiveness and submission. The trouble is we can’t feed BOTH at the same time, so one is replenished and the other starves.

So what are you feeding yourself today? Is it negative thoughts or positive ones. Make the most of this day and of what you have left, and you will find that the negatives will begin to waste away.

Dr Bill

Thoughts for the Day:
“The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes.”
William James (Philosopher)

“Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat him as he COULD BE, and he will become what he should be.”
Jimmy Johnson (Football Coach)

Coping Constructively

•As a family, talk about the death with one another; discuss your loss and your pain. Talk about the good times you remember, as well as those times that were not so good. All family members will be grieving in their own manner—don’t criticize because of these differences. Remember that it is better to express feelings than to internalize them and that crying is healthy and therapeutic.

•You may find it helpful to write out your feelings or to write a letter to your dead friend, expressing all the things you were not able to say before the death. For many, this is a good way to say good-bye.

•Allow friends to help. When they ask what they can do for you, don’t be afraid to tell them of your needs and what will help you. It will also help them.

•Consider becoming involved with a bereavement group. Some community groups are specifically structured for survivors of suicide. Through sharing with others who have walked the same path, you may gain some understanding of your reactions and learn ways to cope. Seek professional help and family counseling if necessary.
•Give yourself time, time, and more time. It takes months, even years, to open your heart and mind to healing. Choose to survive and then be patient with yourself. In time, your grief will soften as you begin to heal, and you will feel like investing in life again.

Dr. Bill

Thought for the day:
“In three words I can explain what I’ve learned about life, it goes on.”