Yesterday afternoon, a tree on our street cracked in the strong winds and a huge limb fell across the roadway. The word from the workmen who were dispatched to clean up the mess was that the tree was “stressed” because it had dried out and had become inflexible.

Other trees survived the gale. In fact I sat and watched them swaying back and forth in high wind, unaffected by the buffeting. The difference? They were flexible, moving with the forces of nature, while the ill fated tree had become rigid, unable to adapt to the influences that were pushing on it.

One of the ways to overcome stress is to “go with the flow”. I have learned a valuable lesson from that tree, about the differences between flexibility and rigidity. When you think about it, flexibility is a sign of life. Life is determined by movement, but death by rigidity. Babies, full of life, are supple and flexible and in constant movement, while old age is marked by increasing inactivity and stiffness.

To look at it another way. Which is stronger: water or rock? I think water, because water can wear away rock. But what causes the rock to give way to the water? It is that the water is in constant motion, and it is that energy that gradually breaks down the rock.

That doesn’t mean that we should be blown here and there by every opinion or situation that occurs. A tree has to have roots that are deeply grounded. But the problem with the tree was not its foundation, but its moving parts.

People who are rigid and resist change run the risk of snapping. Those who do not “go with the flow” will get worn away. We need to allow ourselves to stay flexible, open to new ideas and possibilities. Then when the winds of change blow, we will be better able to adapt and be able to adjust to the pressures.

Dr Bill

Thought:
“There is a certain relief in change, even though it be thought to be from bad to worse; as I have found travelling in a stage coach, it is often a comfort to shift one’s position and be bruised in a new place.”
Washington Irving.

My heart was in my mouth. I had just past the “point of no return” getting on to the motorway when the fuel light came on to tell me I was low on fuel. I should have checked … why didn’t I notice … where is the next exit that has a gas station?? In fact the next four exits did NOT have a place to fill up, so I was getting increasingly nervous as I exited the familiar turn off. But the station I thought would be open was CLOSED. OK, breathe normally, there is a 24 hour depot at the top of the hill.

I never realized how long and steep that hill was before. I could see my needle was firmly on empty, so I nursed the car along, trying desperately not to accelerate too much to conserve the precious few drops that were left. I nervously looked out at the rain, wondering how wet I would get if the car stopped.

Finally, the lights of the gas station came into view. I actually coasted in to the pumps, and was very relieved to hear the gasoline pouring into my tank. It’s a 60 litre tank and it took 62, so that’s how close it was! But my good old faithful van had not let me down … though I think it might have said “don’t try this again”!!!

That was Sunday. As I resumed my journey, I thought it was a lesson in what I experienced early this summer. As you may remember from my June BLOG, I was feeling “burnt out”, low on fuel. However, fortunately, I saw the warning signs, was abl;e to get off the “highway” for a while, had a good summer, and am back replenished for the ongoing journey.

There is no shame in running low on fuel … it happens because you have been going places with things to do. It is a pity though if we ignore the warning lights that flash and tell us we need to do something to “fill up”.

How are YOU doing??? I thought we might have a few ideas on what we can do for ourselves when we are feeling a bit burned out, or running on empty.

Also, later this week, I will share some ideas I have about making this BLOG more interractive …. I would like to hear from YOU as well as you hearing from me.

Dr Bill

” It is against himself that everybody sins. So God defend me from myself.”

Today, in the city where I live, the children go back to school, the last holiday weekend of the summer is over, and those “lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer” now give way to the more regular routines.

On June 25th I mentioned that I was taking some “time out” because I recognized that I was “burned out” … I think “overloaded” was a better description. I appreciated those who wrote words of encouragement, and validated my decision to look after ME for a while. Burnout does not happen to BUSY people: it affects those who give and give and give and then forget to replenish. Cars run and run … as long as you keep replenishing the fuel supply. Why should the human machine expect to be any different?

So, I have had a great summer … haven’t travelled or overdone it. I have golfed a bit, been swimming, spent time with friends, sat on a beach, relaxed. (OK, to satisfy the workaholics among you, I DID do some work on a new DVD that will be coming out soon, but that was different!!!)

I also did some reflecting on my humanity and my mortality. My dear 93 year old auntie died this summer. She represents the last of my father’s generation, so in the chronological scheme of things (irrelevant except in one’s own mind!!) I am next.

I am also increasingly conscious that I am not going to be able to change the world, which is probably obvious to all, but one keeps hoping.

Nonetheless, I have learned the importance of what Helen Keller once said:

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and just because I cannot do everything, I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.”

So, I’m back, and later this week, I will share a bit about an idea I have to make this BLOG a bit more interactive, and get YOUR opinions, views and ideas for the Grief Journey.

Hope you had as good a summer as possible.

Dr Bill

“If you have accomplished all that you have planned for yourself, you have not planned enough”