{"id":3512,"date":"2020-05-11T14:27:59","date_gmt":"2020-05-11T18:27:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/griefjourney.com\/?page_id=3508"},"modified":"2020-10-22T00:55:10","modified_gmt":"2020-10-22T00:55:10","slug":"facts-versus-feelings","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/facts-versus-feelings\/","title":{"rendered":"Facts Versus Feelings"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"3512\" class=\"elementor elementor-3512\" data-elementor-post-type=\"page\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-6d4a9ec3 elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-content-top elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-items-middle\" data-id=\"6d4a9ec3\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1035c282\" data-id=\"1035c282\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4d925e7e elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4d925e7e\" data-element_type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-79a23a11\" data-id=\"79a23a11\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-296a268 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"296a268\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Facts vs Feelings<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7f22bd29 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7f22bd29\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>In our modern culture, we tend to handle facts better than feelings. Confronted by any crisis or tragedy, people try to cope by \u201cgetting the facts\u201d. The media has brought us constant information about what we need to know about the pandemic, the necessary regulations and instructions of how we must handle the situation, as well as suggesting many strategies on coping with life today as it now is.<\/p><p>But I believe that the focus of grief should not just be on our ability to understand, but on our ability to feel. That does not minimize the importance of information. It merely affirms the equal importance of paying attention to your own feelings and taking care of your emotional needs in light of the distressing news.<\/p><p>Counsellors generally agree that there are 6 basic emotions: these include joy, sadness, surprise, disgust, fear, and anger. I would guess that many in this current situation would identify with at least 5 out of 6 of these basic emotions!<\/p><p>But into this framework in the current situation, we could also weave responses like:<\/p><ul><li><strong>Emptiness:<\/strong><br \/>Where once there was relationship with family; a social life where we could meet up with friends; a good job and a nice income; the opportunity to go out to sports events, theatre, a movie or a meal together, there is now a void. The roles we had in our lives are empty, and we have to find ways to fill our lives with something else.<\/li><li><strong>Helplessness<\/strong><br \/>No-one likes to be in a position where they feel helplessness and powerlessness, but that\u2019s where we find ourselves. The question in such situations becomes, \u201cWhat do you do when there is nothing you can do?\u201d We can follow the rules of distancing and isolation, but there is nothing you can do to heal those who are dying or alleviate the suffering of those most deeply affected. Oh, I know, some think they can do anything they like in this situation. \u201cIt can\u2019t happen to <strong><em>me<\/em><\/strong>!\u201d they rationalize. Well, how\u2019s that working for you? Not well for far too many, unfortunately. What do you do when something you didn\u2019t think could happen \u2026 <strong><em>happens<\/em><\/strong>???<\/li><\/ul><ul><li><strong>Feeling Lost<\/strong><br \/>When our life changes or normal routines are disturbed, we often feel lost. In Greek, the word \u201clost\u201d basically means \u201cin the wrong place.\u201d And maybe that is how we feel right now. We recognize we are \u201cin the wrong place\u201d. This is an unwelcome and difficult place, and we wish we could be in a better, less problematic place.<\/li><\/ul><p>We are \u201cdisturbed\u201d when our life is disrupted by circumstances. That interestingly is what the word \u201cemotion\u201d means. What is happening in our world is disturbing, and it is important to pay attention to our own feelings and take care of your own emotional needs.<\/p><h3>a)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 This is Emotional<\/h3><p>The Scots have a saying that some things are better \u201cfelt than tell\u2019t\u201d (told). Grief is one of these things. Whenever we lose someone (or something) or an attachment is broken, we experience a painful reaction. To experience grief is to acknowledge you are feeling the loss. We must recognize that our tears and emotions are not a sign of weakness, but an indication of how special that relationship or attachment was. And, now that it is gone, we miss it. To experience grief is to acknowledge that you are human.<\/p><p>Because we have not recognized grief in our culture, its intensity often comes as a surprise. We can find ourselves bewildered by the avalanche of emotions that can impact us. Among these reactions are numbness, shock, confusion, disbelief, anxiety, absent-mindedness, restlessness, crying, fatigue, appetite disorders, sleep disruptions, physical symptoms, anger, guilt, depression, and many more.<\/p><p>What other emotions can YOU think of or identify that can be connected to your sense of loss during this pandemic?<\/p><h3><strong> b) Every emotional reaction is different<\/strong><\/h3><p>There is no one neat orderly way to describe the grief process. Some people experience certain emotions, other people experience others. Everyone is different, and so the way you respond to your unique loss will unlike anyone else.<\/p><p>Let me make a confession. One of my weaknesses in life is a love of chocolate, particularly those wonderfully delicious nut clusters. After a lifetime of research, I have made an amazing discovery! (Brace yourself!!) <em>There are no two nut clusters exactly the same<\/em>. While each consists of the same basic ingredients, every single one is different. Some are round while others are \u201coff shape\u201d; some have a few extra nuts, others have a bigger blob of chocolate on top. The same ingredients, yet none of them are identical.<\/p><p>This offers us a great metaphor for grief. While each individual may experience comparable \u201cingredients\u201d, grief is a cluster of emotions. Every individual has their own unique cluster, because we are all different people, with different circumstances and situations. Many may experience similar emotions, but always to a lesser or greater degree than someone else.<\/p><p>Grief over any loss can be a challenging experience, but not more powerful than your ability to work your way through your many emotions. Express your grief in a way that is right for you.\u00a0 Although the possibility of your recovery may seem distant right now, the healing process is happening.<\/p><p>In our 7<sup>th<\/sup> blog in the series we will look at the problematic emotions of guilt and blame.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-50 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-2ea6bfa8\" data-id=\"2ea6bfa8\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1b3c131 elementor-share-buttons--view-icon elementor-share-buttons--shape-circle elementor-share-buttons--skin-gradient elementor-grid-0 elementor-share-buttons--color-official elementor-widget elementor-widget-global elementor-global-4377 elementor-widget-share-buttons\" data-id=\"1b3c131\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"share-buttons.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_email\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\ttabindex=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Share on email\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fas fa-envelope\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_facebook\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\ttabindex=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Share on facebook\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-facebook\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-grid-item\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tclass=\"elementor-share-btn elementor-share-btn_twitter\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\trole=\"button\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\ttabindex=\"0\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\taria-label=\"Share on twitter\"\n\t\t\t\t\t\t>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-share-btn__icon\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<i class=\"fab fa-twitter\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/i>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-20b5e46c elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"20b5e46c\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Life in Challenging Times Topics:<\/h2>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1a2d7930 elementor-nav-menu--dropdown-tablet elementor-nav-menu__text-align-aside elementor-nav-menu--toggle elementor-nav-menu--burger elementor-widget elementor-widget-global elementor-global-4182 elementor-widget-nav-menu\" data-id=\"1a2d7930\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;layout&quot;:&quot;vertical&quot;,&quot;submenu_icon&quot;:{&quot;value&quot;:&quot;fas fa-caret-down&quot;,&quot;library&quot;:&quot;fa-solid&quot;},&quot;toggle&quot;:&quot;burger&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"nav-menu.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<nav class=\"elementor-nav-menu--main elementor-nav-menu__container elementor-nav-menu--layout-vertical e--pointer-underline e--animation-fade\">\n\t\t\t\t<ul id=\"menu-1-1a2d7930\" class=\"elementor-nav-menu sm-vertical\"><li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4160\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/when-life-changes\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">When Life Changes<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-5059\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/understanding-grief\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Understanding Grief<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4162\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/understanding-what-we-are-losing-in-this-pandemic\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Understanding WHAT we are Losing in this Pandemic<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4175\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/responding-to-stressful-events\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Responding to Stressful Events<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4347\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/emotions-in-challenging-times\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Emotions in Challenging Times<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4181\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/facts-versus-feelings\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Facts Versus Feelings<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4180\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/guilt-and-blame\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Guilt and Blame  \u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4179\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/dealing-with-anger-and-other-emotions\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Dealing with Anger and other Emotions<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4178\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/working-through-our-feelings\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Working through our Feelings<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4177\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/coping-when-life-is-turned-upside-down\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Coping When Life is Turned Upside Down<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4176\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/four-basic-needs-in-times-of-crisis\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Four Basic Needs in Times of Crisis<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4163\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/helpful-suggestions-for-coping-with-grief\/\" class=\"elementor-item\">Helpful Suggestions for Coping with Grief<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\t\t\t<\/nav>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-menu-toggle\" role=\"button\" tabindex=\"0\" aria-label=\"Menu Toggle\" aria-expanded=\"false\">\n\t\t\t<i aria-hidden=\"true\" role=\"presentation\" class=\"elementor-menu-toggle__icon--open eicon-menu-bar\"><\/i><i aria-hidden=\"true\" role=\"presentation\" class=\"elementor-menu-toggle__icon--close eicon-close\"><\/i>\t\t\t<span class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Menu<\/span>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<nav class=\"elementor-nav-menu--dropdown elementor-nav-menu__container\" aria-hidden=\"true\">\n\t\t\t\t<ul id=\"menu-2-1a2d7930\" class=\"elementor-nav-menu sm-vertical\"><li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4160\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/when-life-changes\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">When Life Changes<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-5059\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/understanding-grief\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Understanding Grief<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4162\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/understanding-what-we-are-losing-in-this-pandemic\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Understanding WHAT we are Losing in this Pandemic<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4175\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/responding-to-stressful-events\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Responding to Stressful Events<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4347\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/emotions-in-challenging-times\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Emotions in Challenging Times<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4181\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/facts-versus-feelings\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Facts Versus Feelings<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4180\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/guilt-and-blame\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Guilt and Blame  \u00a0<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4179\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/dealing-with-anger-and-other-emotions\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Dealing with Anger and other Emotions<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4178\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/working-through-our-feelings\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Working through our Feelings<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4177\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/coping-when-life-is-turned-upside-down\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Coping When Life is Turned Upside Down<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4176\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/four-basic-needs-in-times-of-crisis\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Four Basic Needs in Times of Crisis<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"menu-item menu-item-type-post_type menu-item-object-page menu-item-4163\"><a href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/helpful-suggestions-for-coping-with-grief\/\" class=\"elementor-item\" tabindex=\"-1\">Helpful Suggestions for Coping with Grief<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\t\t\t<\/nav>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-916a920 elementor-widget elementor-widget-global elementor-global-5929 elementor-widget-sidebar\" data-id=\"916a920\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"sidebar.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<div><div class=\"textwidget custom-html-widget\"><script async src=\"https:\/\/pagead2.googlesyndication.com\/pagead\/js\/adsbygoogle.js?client=ca-pub-8311255265202142\"\n     crossorigin=\"anonymous\"><\/script>\n<!-- Grief Journey Vertical -->\n<ins class=\"adsbygoogle\"\n     style=\"display:block\"\n     data-ad-client=\"ca-pub-8311255265202142\"\n     data-ad-slot=\"5534802673\"\n     data-ad-format=\"auto\"\n     data-full-width-responsive=\"true\"><\/ins>\n<script>\n     (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});\n<\/script>    <\/div><\/div>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Facts vs Feelings In our modern culture, we tend to handle facts better than feelings. Confronted by any crisis or tragedy, people try to cope by \u201cgetting the facts\u201d. The media has brought us constant information about what we need to know about the pandemic, the necessary regulations and instructions of how we must handle [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4797,"parent":3507,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Facts Versus Feelings - Grief Journey<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/griefjourney.com\/life-in-challenging-times\/facts-versus-feelings\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Facts Versus Feelings - Grief Journey\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Facts vs Feelings In our modern culture, we tend to handle facts better than feelings. Confronted by any crisis or tragedy, people try to cope by \u201cgetting the facts\u201d. 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